No End in Sight....
So the conference was last week... I had planned to do a little blog-recap, but I'm just too tired from the event and frustrated by it to do a blow-by-blow. The short version is this: to guests, the event was a raving success and went off without a hitch. To me, it was one annoyance after another and too much to have on my plate to organize, host, and speak at - with a group of people that had the attitude it was "our" event not "theirs" - regardless that we all work for the same company and that ultimately it benefits everyone's bonus if the event goes well...
It would be nice if life slowed down now that the event is behind us, BUT, I have a basic report I am trying to complete, an IPO on a stock in our sector, earnings season just around the corner and a handful of speaking engagements (which would ordinarily be VERY cool!) that are out of town... All of this, before June..... Office politics have been tough... I've felt that my boss is throwing a lot on my way (ie - dropping the ball), and I'm feeling like I don't have any respect within the organization, as people keeping going to her for stuff I could very well be handling (visibility with clients, etc).... Ho hum...
Trying not to sound bitchy about it - just feeling a bit deflated.... It's not easy being on a three person team, when she's the visible "face" of our team, even though I am more than capable to do sore of the high-profile stuff. At times I feel like an over-paid Associate and not a rising Analyst - not a great feeling... especially when I'm working 11+ hour days and weekends to boot! I tried to talk to her about it a bit today, but it turned into her telling me that "this" was part of why she is no longer on good terms with her old Jr Associate -- her Associate feelign in her shadow -- and I shouldn't get too anxious or feel offended when it happens. People will naturally turn to the "leader" of the team. I get that, I really do. And to be fair, its never that she's not allowing me the exposure. On the one hand, she's trying to hand off things I could handle (client calls and speaking engagments) which is nice, but on the other hand, she's giving me the stuff she doesn't really want to bother with -- Oklahoma City anyone??? I'm going there to speak in June. When I'm of reasonable-mind, I know that it each of these occassions is a great opportunity for me to get my feet wet and sharpen my skills, but at the same time, I hate feeling like I am just waiting for her to throw me a bone..... One of my strengths, I think, is that I don't pretend to know stuff I don't - and to defer to her when I am in over my head. But, I'm coming to realize that one of my weaknesses is that I'm not being more aggressive to do these types of calls/events that I konw I am capable of (in some cases, I've followed the stocks for 6+ years, and she just picked them up when she joined the firm a year and a half ago). I need to push/encourage both her, and our Salesforce to become more visible....
I'm also realizing that the biggest drawback to her working in a remote office and not in HQ with us is that it limits my growth - I used to learn by overhearing my old boss on the phone with clients. You pick up small stuff here and there (We call it "osmosis" when we explain this phenomenon of learning to interns). I don't get an opportunity for that when she's not around. And she's not really realizing it, because I can handle plenty of the office stuff so she doesn't have to bother, AND, I'm training our Associate - so he's learning from me.... just feeling like I am getting the short-end of the stick on this one. And I haven't found a remedy either - I honestly, don't think there is one. I wish I thought of this when we were on the phone together this afternoon... not quite sure how to bring this up. Don't want to sound whiny about feeling like my learning curve has disappeared...
On the bright side, someone got hired to fill the position above my creepy sexual-harassing boss's head (Director of Dept). The new guy will oversee research, sales, & trading... looks like there will be some housecleaning going on in our and other departments (any guesses on the first guy I want fired?). We're about to pick up a bunch of new stocks, coincidentally timed right after his start date (next week) - so we'll have great visibility. Always nice ahead of salary reviews in July! Trying to keep my chin up....
Wow, that was quite a ramble out of me tonight.
